Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Ant and the Grasshopper


OLD VERSION


The
ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The
grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away....

Come winter, the
ant is warm and well fed.

The
grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!


MODERN VERSION


The
ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The
grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering
grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shiveringgrasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast.


How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog
appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, We shall overcome. Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

President Obama
condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the anthas gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the
EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Actretroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by theGovernment Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.

The story ends as we see the
grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ants food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it.

The
ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The
grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood..

The entire
Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

1 comment:

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by David W. Andersen