2. "I will make sure that we renegotiate [NAFTA]." I think I will blame America for Drug Wars in Mexico instead.
3. Opposed a Colombian Free Trade Agreement because advocates ignore that "labor leaders have been targeted for assassination on a fairly consistent basis." I tried really hard when I went to Columbia but all I got was this crumby book from Chavez.
4. "Now, what I’ve done throughout this campaign is to propose a net spending cut." And What I am doing now is to propose a spending Nut... Have you met my CZAR's?
5. "If we see money being misspent, we're going to put a stop to it, and we will call it out and we will publicize it." Then we will fire their CEO, Take Ownership of the Company and tell you what you will be driving in 5 years.
6. "Yesterday, Jim, the head of Caterpillar, said that if Congress passes our plan, this company will be able to rehire some of the folks who were just laid off." Jim now says he never said he would rehire folks. I plan to force Jim to take bail out money, then I will fire him.
7. "I want to go line by line through every item in the Federal budget and eliminate programs that don't work, and make sure that those that do work work better and cheaper." This line by line business is hard. I'll just make an 'outline' then congress can fill in the blanks.
9. "Instead of allowing lobbyists to slip big corporate tax breaks into bills during the dead of night, we will make sure every single tax break and earmark is available to every American online." Well we will do it once for show, how do you feel about carrying guns in federal parks?
10. "We can no longer accept a process that doles out earmarks based on a member of Congress's seniority, rather than the merit of the project." But John Murtha is cool.
11. "If your family earns less than $250,000 a year, you will not see your taxes increased a single dime. I repeat: not one single dime." Ha-ha it will be countless dimes but definitely NOT one single dime!
12. "Barack Obama and Joe Biden believe the United States has to be frank with the Chinese about such failings and will press them to respect human rights." Er..Um.. I'm Frank and your investments in Americas debt are safe sirs. Please crush your own people with Tanks and leave us alone okay?
13. "We must take out Osama bin Laden and his lieutenants if we have them in our sights." Make sure we don't get Osama Bin Laden in our sights! That's an order.
14. "Lobbyists won’t work in my White House!" Lobbyists WILL work in my White House!
15. "The real gamble in this election is playing the same Washington game with the same Washington players and expecting a different result." Let's see, we bailed out AMTRACK in 1971 with 30 Billion tax payer dollars, they never regained profitability and the Goverment still runs AMTRAK to this day. They lost 1.4 million last year and that is after we made any competition illegal. But Hey, Let's give GM 50 Billion Dollars and see if we can't make them profitable.
16. "I'll make oil companies like Exxon pay a tax on their windfall profits, and we'll use the money to help families pay for their skyrocketing energy costs and other bills." Why bother when I will own and operate those bad boys in a couple of years. I already got my invitation to the OPEC brotherhood last time I was in Saudi Arabia. Newbies have to bow to their OPEC brothers.
17. "Obama will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days." Did I mention that those were 'Doggie Days'? Did I mention anything I do without my teleprompter is an emergency?